You Can Only Meet Someone to the Depth They Have Met Themselves
- Karen Di Gloria
- Jul 1
- 2 min read
Updated: Jul 13
What happens when one partner longs for more depth, and the other resists it—out of fear, past wounds, or a lack of readiness?
You start to feel the ache of mismatched depths.
And as much as your heart may want to carry them further, you come to understand: you cannot do the work for them. Growth must be chosen, not coerced. Love cannot survive where one person is constantly pulling the other into places they are unwilling to go.
It is painful. But it is not cruel. It is not even personal.
It is a matter of capacity. Of timing. Of where each person is on their inner journey.
So, I chose to bow out—not in anger or resentment, but in grace.
Because staying would have meant shrinking myself. Dimming my light to match someone else’s fear. And I have worked too hard to abandon myself now.
To anyone reading this who feels that ache: wanting more, being met with less—please remember, it is okay to choose yourself.
It is okay to walk away from a love that will not go deep with you.
Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is let go. Not because the love was not real, but because you are ready to love more deeply—starting with yourself.
"You can only meet someone to the depth they’ve met themselves . . . you cannot force it."
In the realm of relationships—especially intimate partnerships—this truth is often the quiet undercurrent of tension that people struggle to name. Emotional depth, vulnerability, and the ability to process and hold space for another person all depend on how much inner work one has done.
If a person has not faced their own wounds, fears, or desires, they will be limited in how deeply they can engage with another. They may want love, connection, and closeness, but the capacity to sustain deep intimacy is not there—not yet.
What has heartbreak taught you about your own becoming?
If any part of this touched something inside you, I’d love to know.
Leave a comment, share it with someone who might need it, or simply tap the heart if you're reading this on a platform that allows it.
If this moved you, consider subscribing to Divine Soul Letters to receive soul nourishment straight to your inbox.
Just click the button below — your presence here truly means something real.
With fierce love,
Karen Di Gloria❤️
Comments